Angel Yau and Television have a very strange history and relationship.  Angel claims to hate TV and all that it produces.  She refuses to watch anything anyone recommends.  She refuses to cave in with everyone else.  She refuses to give certain shows a chance.  Maybe it’s because she has a high taste for entertainment?  Maybe it’s because she’s a hermit?  Maybe it’s because she’s afraid of commitment.

Let’s examine Angel’s relationships with certain TV shows that kept her going.  What are the patterns?  Why she, in fact, cannot keep a steady and genuine bond with the Tube.  Is this a healthy relationship?

To tell you the truth, Angel’s list isn’t very long at all.  In fact through the 21 years of her life, this list will be less than 3 lines.  In random order: The Simpsons, Arthur, Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Office, Chicken Robot, Family Guy, The Ali G Show, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Ghost Writer, Fear Factor, Arrest Development and Spiderman.

Quick thrills, mostly comedies or direct factual shows, those are the ones that have kept me interested.  These TV shows do not need commitment.  If I miss one episode, not too much of a deal.  Dramas.  Those are the shows where I’m in trouble.  I never had the attention span for “24”.  “Lost” had too many characters to dive into.  “Law and Order” was too realistic.  However I have never watched a full episode with full attention of any of those.  I would rather not watch it at all, then get hurt at the end… missing an episode and getting confused.

I must admit, I am afraid to commit, the responsibility, to be confined at the same place every Monday night.  I need to be free, to have my own space.  I want something new, exciting and different all the time.  Which is why the TV show, “Friends,” although I cannot call it my favorite, is very much a guilty pleasure.  There are 6 very different characters that you can identify with at least one, if not all of them.  There would be at least 3 simple storylines to follow so you do not get too bored.  There’s variety but not too much to throw you off.

I would rather watch a re- run of “Friends” than watch the newest, craziest, raved about episode of “Lost.”  Why?  Because within that sitcom, I get comfort, familiarity and I know I can rely on it to make me laugh even if they were easy jokes, to make me forget about troubles in my life, to be background noise if I am doing something.  Because it does not take a whole 30- 60 minutes of my life to sit and watch and invest feelings in.

The main question, however is- if I’ve never devoted myself in a drama, how would I know if I like it or not?  How would I know if a certain drama isn’t too confined with it’s genre, perhaps it has some comedic element and life isn’t treated too seriously within that world.  But does it matter?  Does what I watch relate to what I do?

I am the type that does not read but write a tremendous amount, does not observe my outer world but have a lively imagination, and of course does not watch TV or films but want to make them.  Is that a problem?  Wanting to do something but refuse to watch what’s already been done?  All my life, teachers has been telling me to read, read, read in order to be a writer.  It’s hard for me to say that I’ve read a whole novel through and through.  I get bored easily.  I get distracted easily.   If it doesn’t capture me in the first 2 lines, I let go.  I don’t give it a chance.  I realize that it’s not that the stories are not compelling, but the writing style.  I tend to focus on how things are written then what is written.  I feel that how you tell a story is more important because how something is told gives the audience a subtle sub story of who the narrator is, what the deeper story is behind the one being told.  There, of course, are certain stories which tell themselves because of the strong content.  But that’s writing, which explains why I have trouble writing a script, because a script isn’t a narrative, it’s a technical.

But for TV Shows and Films, I tend to complain about the content of the story.  The way they are told would always be spectacular from the visuals and the effects but it’s always the story itself that lacks.  Anyone can make a talking dragon, exploding buildings, and use a glide cam if they have the money but not everyone has a genuine, interesting story to tell.  Written stories and visual entertainment never seems to impress me, they always seem to lack one or the other.  And it’s both that I want to pursue.  In writing, I want to use the most unique way to tell a story, I don’t care what I write.  In the media, I want to tell a good story, I don’t care if I don’t have enough money to make the production values high.
And I realize, perhaps that is why I don’t invest my time and feelings towards TV shows that are already there for me to pursue.  I want to spend that time on me because deep down inside I know I can be different and bring something new to the entertainment world.  Maybe I’m selfish to find some good out there and my passion and drive would be less or maybe I’m just scared.  I’m scared that I am not good enough for what is already out there because the audience looks for a certain thing that I might not have.  Because the truth is, if I see a show that works, I don’t get inspired, I get jealous and if I don’t see it all, then it does not exist.

TV shows, like finding boyfriends- need to keep me interested, needs to be spontaneous but still give that reliable comfort and those are the shows I watch.  But shows that inspire me that I think are brilliant, I can safely say- there is none.  From what I gather in this paper, I know that sometimes it is hard to be inspired by myself and it would in fact help a lot to be exposed to TV shows, film and stories.  I just need to be less stubborn.  I need to be more open.  I need be courageous.  Because it may all be fun and games now- catching one and another here and there, without a care in the world.  However, in the long run.  Angel needs to settle down, pick a show to call her own and invest her feelings to it.  So perhaps one day she can produce a successful television show that is original and would make her proud.

Tags: essays